Alphabet Follies

A marathon ensued last night as Ruthie relentlessly sang her ABC's over and over. When it comes to being a parent, I believe this type of event naturally brings out a number of parenting personalities.

Personality #1: the "AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHH" parent
These are parents who fight the urge to throw their own temper tantrum in order to stop the inevitable rerun of "With a quack quack here and a quack quack there..." Instead, as soon as their child turns away, they run out of the room, close the door, and lock it, thankful to hear their child's screams rather than another round of Old MacDonald.

Personality #2: the "SUPERSTAR" parent
These are the parents who dress up their child in the frilliest dress with the biggest bow, or in the starchiest sweater vest they own, and hit record on the video camera until the child sings Happy Birthday with complete perfection. The parents edit out all the mishaps and send the perfect edition to every talent agency and modeling company in the nation. Secretly, though, they also send a copy of the edited mishaps to America's Funniest Home Videos because there's a chance a talent scout or modeling agent will be watching- and they might win ten thousand dollars.

Personality #3: the "Rest of Us"
These are, of course, the rest of the parents that do not fit into personality types 1 or 2. These parents adore most everything that comes out of their child's mouth. When the child sings the ABC's for the bazillionth time, the parents might want to run out of the room, but instead they join in and sing along one more time, once again praising their child's knowledge and abilities (just like they did on each prior rendition). They also pull out the video camera but, instead of sending the video to the hot shots, they make copies and send it to all the family, or post it on the blog- knowing full well that it will one day make it to the big screen...on their child's wedding day.